Lyrics Inscribed In Your heart

So you have to agree with this: There is at least one such lyric that somehow leaves a major landmark down the memory lane. Whenever the song is on the radio, or on a background score of a movie or even while flipping the channels you realise that you just missed out on the video and you soothe yourself with the last few words; reminiscizing how deeply those words affected you when you first heard them. It was moving!

Mind sharing it?

 

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Here's Mine…

 

Sorrow is something that I've learned is an inherent part and parcel of our lives. Can't escape it, it always catches up on you. Be it a heartache that refuses to heal, or a betrayal that burns itself in anger, or a loss that echoes of its emptiness or a lie that makes every cherished moment so utterly meaningless or just a simple regret that lingers on with question mark of, "What if I had taken my chances?"… Maybe it's a morning of not feeling to get out of bed- Ahh! Sleep is so detaching from all this crap! Or a Lunch consisting of an over-boiled bowl of Maggi (Its still sagging wet). Or a siesta of sulking over miniscule things that once mattered so much to you and it reduces into ashes over the kitchen stove now. The evening hours spent stuffed in the couch with the TV barbling whatever, while you wonder why you are giving up so bad that you haven't even bathed for a week now… never mind the shave. And dinner doesn't feel like cooking amidst miserable lonliness, instead streams of tears does fill up the appetite (has crying always been a nocturnal activity?) And then finally you slap yourself and say that's it. No more. You call up your friends, hit a pub and get totally drunk followed by a humungus brick of choco chip (I think you still got some of that choco syrup left in the fridge) and say "Fuck the diet and Fuck all this shit!!!" And yes, that's a moment when you experience the ultimate release. Release from the shackles of all sorrows! Free at last. All you needed to do was let go. So simple yet so hard to accept… But sometime or other all of us do that after all. Its human nature. We always move on…

 

LET GO by Frou Frou

 

Drink up baby down

Are you in or are you out?

Leave your things behind

'Cause it's all going off without you

Excuse me too busy you're writing a tragedy

These mess-ups

You bubble-wrap

When you've no idea what you're like

 

So, let go

Jump in

Oh well, what you waiting for?

It's all right

'Cause there's beauty in breakdown

So, let go

Just get in

Oh, it's so amazing here

It's all right

'Cause there's beauty in breakdown

 

It gains the more it gives

And then advances with the form

So, honey, back for more

Can't you see that all the stuff's essential?

Such boundless pleasure

We've no time for later

Now you can't wait

You roll your eyes

We've twenty seconds to comply

 

So, let go

Jump in

Oh well, what you waiting for?

It's all right

'Cause there's beauty in breakdown

So, let go

Just get in

Oh, it's so amazing here

It's all right

'Cause there's beauty in breakdown

The Field

Imagine... A field of white lilies and instead of green underneath its translucent, like ice sculptures... but they're not ice. Its falling snow, but its not snow... Its not freezing cold, nor is it hot. Cool breeze blow all around you in a cobalt blue sky and cottons of clouds shift and flow away. And its such a beautiful feeling that you just want to stop the time and relish it forever. You wish it was heaven. Wish the afterlife is as beautiful as this. Life itself as been worse than hell itself. But this time I won't moan. I'm even tired of doing that. I'm still counting my days. But for some reason my mind is totally blank now. I'm not passing every second in hatred in pain anymore. Its just passing by. Hardships and mess ups are still there... but for some peculiar reason I'm seem to be so unaffected. Its as if feelings are just numbed now and emotions are scooped out of my heart. I'm not looking for love anymore and I'm not running away from hate. Its as if I have halted down in this pure white field and the whole world is moving in a blurry fast forward and I'm not least bothered about keeping a track of anything. Funny its so much better than being on anti-depressants or being drunk! At least I'm in my senses. I can feel everything physically but spiritually its just withering away. I'm still scattered in fragments. I shattered the last time and decided I was too tired for not letting it be the last time. So I lay there until the sun shone up. And what is this feeling? Are the fragments shining in a blinding light for a last time before they dissipate into an unexistence? Probably. And I too hope they are...

A Hushed Silence

Dear Reader

I will be sharing my blogs on this site. It's a sort of an outlet to all that I have seen in life. I just wanted to express them. Anyone reads it or not, I'm not concerned with that. If you do get yourself to read the whole thing, then I'll have all the gratitude for you in my heart.

There is something peculiarly special about us humans. Each and every person is unique in its own way. The human mind is like a software, or say a set of functions that are programmed to work independently with logic and reason. I know it can be explained more deeply in a further detailed fashion, but I'm not really caring to indulge into those heavy technological terms. But yes, what makes every living creature different from the softwares et al, is the sense of independent judgement. A dog knows to differ amongst enemies and his owner; whom to bark at and after whom to wag his tail around. But on a higher level what makes humans so unique, is the quality of emotions which eventually affects the sense of judgement to a greater level. Emotions. Emotions are the most complex facet of human life. And is it can be seen, the more complex the composition, the more complex the problems arise. And because every human being is unique, his problems too are unique. Yes, the problems maybe similar in some way or other for commonality of a number of people; but even amongst them each person's problem is unique. Only that person can understand the intensity of his situation to a extent which no one else can. You may hear many a people say, "I understand what you are going through" but in actuality they do only to a certain percentage of it, at most say 99%. Still, the 1% is personal to you that no one else can feel. Why I'm starting my blog with this note is that, on reading the later blogs, you may feel at points- disgusting, funny, of no importance or things like that. But to me, that same disgusting might be pleasurable; that same funny might be aggravating or humiliating or that unimportant issue maybe painfully of great importance. Okay, I'll set an example. One morning you read about two girls being child abused at two separate incidents. You may feel sorry, or whatsoever for them, but only upto an extent. You have been hearing about child abuse news since like forever, so it isn't new for you. But it is new to the girls on whom this crime has been inflicted upon. Only they know the intensity of it. Even on a micro level, one of them can wholly feel what the other has gone through. Say in Girl A's case, the assaulter is a total stranger or rather an enemy to the girl. Alongwith the saddistic physical assault, he also harms her with verbal abuse, like discouraging comments about her appearance, her parents and so on. On other hand, say Girl B knows her assaulter like some uncle. He deceives her and tricks her into the wrongdoing. He may not beat her, he may not swear upon her; but he may inflict mental agony by emotionally blackmailing and stuff. She had loved and trusted him and he shattered that, so it is a shock in itself. So you see, both the situations are very distinct in themselves. Now, twenty years later suppose both of them get to know each other somehow and gradually share each others' experience and may feel that they understand what the other has gone through, but in reality they can't even imagine the horror or the dissapointment the other has faced.

So when you read about the deepest and untold secrets of my life, I have one advice: Don't judge, because you may not be in a position to do so, but please try to understand the surrounding circumstances in which such incidents occur. Other people maybe going through a similar situation to mine, if not exactly the same. And a similar one can be better or even worse than the original incident.

 

The Bong

P.S: This is an impulsive writing, rather than a complsive writing. Compulsive writing is when you write with the thought in mind that "I have to/should/must write". But impulsive writing is totally out of an impulse. Its just when you suddenly want to express yourself through words. So since it depends all on my mood, I can't promise you regular installments, but yes, I will try my best. Your interests maybe a source of encouragent for me…